One of the biggest changes that has taken place in me this semester is that I have been humbled. I am a Feminist and on the first day of class, I assumed that I already knew everything there was to know about inequality and social justice. I also was a little judgemental towards my other classmates who did not think the way that I did. I noticed this arrogance while re-reading my first reading reflection. Although I mentioned disruptions, they were not totally sincere. As the semester continued, however, I started to realize that I did not know everything and that I had strong biases, even if I was already aware of racism, xenophobia, and sexism.
The first time that I began to had my own biases and that I was still unaware of the problems of marginalized groups was when we reviewed our "Imagined Classrooms" together as a class. I mentioned that I put in my lesson that I wanted to include female poets and Dr.Draper responded that that was great, but that I was forgetting to include individuals of varying races, sexualities, and abilties too. I was a little bothered by this because I had involved both black and white female poets in my imagined lesson plan--and I thought that was enough. However, as the semester continued I began to realize the importance of what she said andI even pointed this out in my "Re-imagined Classon" in Portfolio 7. I also made sure to make that imagined lesson more inclusive through Dr. Draper's suggestions. Prior to this class, I guess I was aware of inequality, but I only cared deeply about the inequalities that directly influenced me and my family. This realization was also futher realized by the Adiche video I watched for Lesson 3 and the creation of Portfolio 2 as I began to realize just how involved I am in the hegmonic structures of our society. I also was better able to empathize with those who are "outsiders" in our country in Portfolio 3 as I visited a Unitarian Universalist church near my home since that reality became more understandable and relatable to me. Going back to my identity as a Feminist, "The Silenced Dialogue" also made me realize that having good intentions would not be enough and that even if I am a liberal, I may still fall short or unintentionally leave colored students or non-"normative" students out of the dialogue in my classroom (similar to what Dr. Draper pointed out in my original "Imagined Classroom").
My biases became more and more conspicuous to me as the semester went on and we touched on various topics in class. Although I never mentioned this in my portfolios, one bias that I became aware of was my bias towards those who do not identify as I do politically. I often found myself rolling my eyes at the comments some of my classmates would make. Dr. Draper mentioned in class one day about the importance of working with those that we may not agree with in order to benefit our students and that was when I realized that even if I do not agree with someone, that does not mean that I'm better than them, that I have more to bring to the table than they do, or that they are not worth talking to. Although this was not a racial, ability, or class-based bias, it was one that I had engrained within me before entering this class. Speaking of racial, ability, and class-based biases, I first became sincerely aware of them after our lesson on ability. I realized as I was watching "Isn't it a Pity?" and "Critical Discourse" that I failed to recognize the needs of individuals with disabilities in my "Imagined Classroom" and that they way I viewed individuals with disabilities was condescending and almost dehumanizing. I changed this is my "Re-imagined Classroom" plan. Portfolio 6 also helped me come to terms with my biases as I read "Breaking Through". This assignment probably had the greatest impact on me and made me the most aware of the needs of immigrant children and emerging bilinguals. I was unaware of their struggles and the difficulties that may emerge for those students in school enviornments. It also made me become more dedicated to the idea of creating an equitable classroom enviroment and to get to know my students on a personal level so that I can best serve them (like by including literature that may be applicable to their situation in my classroom, not expecting every student to have needed materials at home, and not assuming that my students understand everything that I say). A couple of days after this portfolio was completed, I actually had a conversation with some of my co-workers at work about the reality of some immigrant families (like Francisco's) and I took a lot of my information from what I had read for that assignment. I was very disrupted by his story (as seen in the long list I made in that Portfolio), but by acknowledging those disruptions I have become more sympathetic to the needs and the situations of immigrant children and hopefully I will be able to be a better teacher because of it.
My "Re-imagined Classrom" (Portfolio 7) is probably the best proof that I learned a lot from this class this semester. When were asked to go through our our original "Imagined Classroom" and change it, I was a little frustrated because I thought that I had gotten a lot of things right the first time. However, I eneded up making changes to almost every section of that first portfolio because I realized that while I did get some things right, I had a lot of areas that I could improve and make even more inclusive. My initial "Imagined Classroom" was more about making children feel welcomed and tolerated--while also including women into the curriculum; however, I failed to address the needs of students who do not fit the hegemonic mold. I also did not take equity or explicitly teaching for social justice into account--I made sure to include both in my "Re-imagined Classroom" though.
Overall, I would say that I did learn a lot in this class. Although I was intitially on the right track with how I saw teaching, there were a lot of things that I needed to address and become aware of in myself--which this class definitely helped me do.
The first time that I began to had my own biases and that I was still unaware of the problems of marginalized groups was when we reviewed our "Imagined Classrooms" together as a class. I mentioned that I put in my lesson that I wanted to include female poets and Dr.Draper responded that that was great, but that I was forgetting to include individuals of varying races, sexualities, and abilties too. I was a little bothered by this because I had involved both black and white female poets in my imagined lesson plan--and I thought that was enough. However, as the semester continued I began to realize the importance of what she said andI even pointed this out in my "Re-imagined Classon" in Portfolio 7. I also made sure to make that imagined lesson more inclusive through Dr. Draper's suggestions. Prior to this class, I guess I was aware of inequality, but I only cared deeply about the inequalities that directly influenced me and my family. This realization was also futher realized by the Adiche video I watched for Lesson 3 and the creation of Portfolio 2 as I began to realize just how involved I am in the hegmonic structures of our society. I also was better able to empathize with those who are "outsiders" in our country in Portfolio 3 as I visited a Unitarian Universalist church near my home since that reality became more understandable and relatable to me. Going back to my identity as a Feminist, "The Silenced Dialogue" also made me realize that having good intentions would not be enough and that even if I am a liberal, I may still fall short or unintentionally leave colored students or non-"normative" students out of the dialogue in my classroom (similar to what Dr. Draper pointed out in my original "Imagined Classroom").
My biases became more and more conspicuous to me as the semester went on and we touched on various topics in class. Although I never mentioned this in my portfolios, one bias that I became aware of was my bias towards those who do not identify as I do politically. I often found myself rolling my eyes at the comments some of my classmates would make. Dr. Draper mentioned in class one day about the importance of working with those that we may not agree with in order to benefit our students and that was when I realized that even if I do not agree with someone, that does not mean that I'm better than them, that I have more to bring to the table than they do, or that they are not worth talking to. Although this was not a racial, ability, or class-based bias, it was one that I had engrained within me before entering this class. Speaking of racial, ability, and class-based biases, I first became sincerely aware of them after our lesson on ability. I realized as I was watching "Isn't it a Pity?" and "Critical Discourse" that I failed to recognize the needs of individuals with disabilities in my "Imagined Classroom" and that they way I viewed individuals with disabilities was condescending and almost dehumanizing. I changed this is my "Re-imagined Classroom" plan. Portfolio 6 also helped me come to terms with my biases as I read "Breaking Through". This assignment probably had the greatest impact on me and made me the most aware of the needs of immigrant children and emerging bilinguals. I was unaware of their struggles and the difficulties that may emerge for those students in school enviornments. It also made me become more dedicated to the idea of creating an equitable classroom enviroment and to get to know my students on a personal level so that I can best serve them (like by including literature that may be applicable to their situation in my classroom, not expecting every student to have needed materials at home, and not assuming that my students understand everything that I say). A couple of days after this portfolio was completed, I actually had a conversation with some of my co-workers at work about the reality of some immigrant families (like Francisco's) and I took a lot of my information from what I had read for that assignment. I was very disrupted by his story (as seen in the long list I made in that Portfolio), but by acknowledging those disruptions I have become more sympathetic to the needs and the situations of immigrant children and hopefully I will be able to be a better teacher because of it.
My "Re-imagined Classrom" (Portfolio 7) is probably the best proof that I learned a lot from this class this semester. When were asked to go through our our original "Imagined Classroom" and change it, I was a little frustrated because I thought that I had gotten a lot of things right the first time. However, I eneded up making changes to almost every section of that first portfolio because I realized that while I did get some things right, I had a lot of areas that I could improve and make even more inclusive. My initial "Imagined Classroom" was more about making children feel welcomed and tolerated--while also including women into the curriculum; however, I failed to address the needs of students who do not fit the hegemonic mold. I also did not take equity or explicitly teaching for social justice into account--I made sure to include both in my "Re-imagined Classroom" though.
Overall, I would say that I did learn a lot in this class. Although I was intitially on the right track with how I saw teaching, there were a lot of things that I needed to address and become aware of in myself--which this class definitely helped me do.